Ghosts of The Past

I went home over this past weekend, and a few things happen when I go home. I eat way too much. I somehow manage to pick apart my already-bare closet and leave a tornado of evidence. I always go through my old things, even though I know this is a danger zone to proceed with caution only. And yet, I never take mind of my own warning as I frivolously flip through old notes, pictures, letters, and every other old memory that I keep tucked away in a shoebox and out of mind. These shoeboxes used to be my own … Continue reading Ghosts of The Past


Sometimes, as I read through my old blog posts, I curse myself for being so creative, for writing so well. Though this may sound like a blessing in disguise, I am sad to confess I’ve looked at many things through a negative mindset in the past year. Instead of thinking, “I wrote breath-taking posts, and I still write wonderfully!” I think to myself, “Damn it. I am one year older than I was at that time, and I can’t even compare my writing today to then. All momentum is gone. There is no sun. I cry so much. Why am … Continue reading Reawaken

How Are You?

Being that I (still) don’t know many people here in college, it always catches me off guard when someone stops to ask “how are you?” “Good,” I reply quickly, a conditioned response. “How are you?” I never quite listen all the way through to their answer, partly because it’s the same as mine and partly because I just lied. Again. Because believe it or not, I’m not “good”. I’m anxious a lot of the time, about scenarios that never happen. That doesn’t deter my anxiety though. I’m not “okay”. I miss my family and my dogs and my boyfriend and my shower and … Continue reading How Are You?

Guns & Math

Thursday nights in college are technically the weekend, and I can’t tell if I love it or hate it. My outer, nearly nineteen-year old self wants to jump at the opportunities and live vicariously, but my inner forty-year old woman would prefer to put on sweatpants and curl up in a blanket while drinking herbal tea. Even though I’ve made it to the weekend, this week was absolute hell. Guns and Math 101 make the world a miserable place. For those two reasons, this was one of the most overwhelming weeks of my life. The worst part was, I had … Continue reading Guns & Math