I love using social media. I love posting pictures, relating to relevant quotes, finding new ideas. I love finding new people, looking through the stories of strangers, and I love sharing my story. I frequently share my story through snapshots and work on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest.

Some days however, I am ashamed and angry at how much time I waste mindlessly scrolling through the never-ending media. I know people who have deleted their accounts and claim to have a clearer mind, free of any hate or ignorance. And yet, I just couldn’t bear to lose that connection to my followers and the people I follow…but maybe a break every once in awhile would be nice, because I am a chronic comparer.

You may be a chronic comparer too, and not even realize it. What this means is that I begin to envy and desire to make myself look like the models. I watch fitness trainers and athletes and their abs, and secretly wish I didn’t like Chipotle or chocolate as much as I do. I begin to read other writer’s’ work and despise that mine isn’t as good, or gets even a quarter of the amount of feedback/support from their readers.

Teenage girls are especially vulnerable to comparison thanks to the incredibly flawed and exhausting media personas. There is beauty in so many different stages of life, and you can’t compare your messy daily routine to someone’s perfectly posed and edited appearance. Behind the screen, we are individually unique, and yet all the same.

Lesson ten is to stop comparing your weakness to someone else’s strength. In fact, you’d help your brain out an awful lot by just not comparing at all. Just because someone else is succeeding doesn’t mean you’re failing, and it’s taken me the full nineteen years to understand that (and some days, I still fall victim to my inner critic).

I’ve learned to retrain my mindset to see pictures of perfect-looking women and read poetry from heart-wrenching authors, and rather than shame myself for not being like them, reward myself for being like me. Because I still have room to grow, and by expanding my horizons, educating myself, and finding new ideas and figures to follow, I am winning.

Stay winning, and stop comparing.

Best regards,

Madeleine