I live in Nebraska, where the sky is grey and temperatures don’t jump above 45 degrees for four months of the year. These four months are complete and total hell for me, because I hate being cold. As I sit here next to the heater, wrapped in a blanket, two sweatshirts, and a cup of steaming tea, I will now tell you why winter is the actual worst.
1. You’re always inside.
Being stuck indoors can make anyone go crazy. Especially when you’re confined for long periods of time, with nothing but a rickety old heater and your own misery. In this time of sorrow and no fresh air, what would we do without Netflix?
2. Constant goosebumps.
If goosebumps were a style, I would be on the cover of every fashion magazine. Mine never seem to go away, and I have accepted the fact that my skin is just naturally covered in tiny spots all the time.
3. You’re whiter than the snow on the ground.
Speaking of skin, have you noticed that the shade of yours has caused small children to mistake you for a ghost? Maybe it’s just me then.
4. Muddy snow.
Okay yeah, the first couple times its neat when we look out the window and see big picturesque flakes of snow falling. But as the months tick by, that snow mixes with the dirt and becomes a muddy brown mixture of gravel and ice, and remains in the corners of big parking lots until June.
5. Everything is dry.
Your skin has magically transformed into a cracked, ashy, old piece of leather. Your hair stands on end. The amount of half-used lotion bottles have taken over your room.
6. The cold car.
Waking up and being forced to remove yourself from underneath the protection of the warm blanket sucks. But you know what sucks even worse? Having to sit on a cold, hard leather seat while your ass slowly freezes. Your car will warm up eventually, but usually not until you’ve parked at the destination.
7. Numb fingers.
Maybe it’s just me, but my fingers seem to take the hardest hit out of all. They are constantly aching and sore and filled with teeny tiny chunks of icicles, making it impossible to actually get anything productive done.
8. Stepping Out of the Shower.
The shower seems to be one place where my goosebumps disappear, at the expense of the water bill of course. Knowing that I will eventually have to turn the dial from full-blast hot to off is painful, because the second I do, the goosebumps appear and I am forced to accept the reality of winter.
Given, winter only lasts a few months, and the lucky few of us get to escape to the beach, desert, or sunny paradise over spring break. But until then, you can find me googling pictures of summer, and glued to my heater.